In today’s world of small groups, online communities, church community assimilation concerns, and digital discipleship tools, it’s easy to overlook the value of one-on-one discipleship. While group settings have their place in the modern church, one-on-one relationships offer something uniquely powerful and transformative. This approach to discipleship, modeled throughout Scripture and church history, remains essential for profound spiritual growth.
In this post, we’ll explore why one-on-one discipleship is crucial for fostering spiritual maturity, how it differs from group discipleship, and how this model can still be practiced effectively today.
Biblical and Historical Models of One-on-One Discipleship
While group discipleship is necessary, the personal touch of one-on-one mentoring is irreplaceable. Throughout the Bible and early church history, one-on-one relationships have been a cornerstone of spiritual growth and transformation.
Moses and Joshua: Passing the Baton
One of the earliest examples of one-on-one discipleship is the relationship between Moses and Joshua. Joshua wasn’t just learning the rules of leadership; he walked alongside Moses, learning by observing Moses’ relationship with God. Over time, Moses entrusted Joshua with leadership responsibilities, preparing him to guide the Israelites into the Promised Land (Deuteronomy 31:7-8).
This relationship shows us that discipleship is about more than transferring knowledge. It’s about preparing the next generation to carry on the mission with wisdom and faithfulness.
Elijah and Elisha: A Life of Commitment
Another powerful example of one-on-one discipleship comes from the prophets Elijah and Elisha. Elijah didn’t simply teach Elisha about prophecy—he invited him to walk closely with him, sharing the joys and challenges of the prophetic life. Elisha’s commitment to Elijah was so strong that he refused to leave his side, even in the final moments of Elijah’s life (2 Kings 2:1-12).
Elijah’s investment in Elisha equipped him to carry on the prophetic ministry with great power, even performing miracles that surpassed those of Elijah. This shows us that true discipleship equips others to go further than the discipler, preparing them for an even more significant impact.
Paul and Timothy: Spiritual Mentorship in the Early Church
In the New Testament, Paul’s relationship with Timothy provides one of the clearest examples of one-on-one discipleship. Paul didn’t just share the Gospel with Timothy—he mentored him, walking alongside him through the joys and struggles of ministry. Paul refers to Timothy as his “true child in the faith” (1 Timothy 1:2), showing their deep, personal bond.
Paul’s personal investment in Timothy’s life helped prepare him for leadership in the early church, and Paul encouraged Timothy to continue the cycle by discipling others (2 Timothy 2:2). This example shows that discipleship is not just about learning—it’s about passing on spiritual growth and leadership.
Jesus and the Inner Circle: Not “The” Prescriptive Model for Discipleship
It’s essential to recognize that while Jesus had a closer relationship with Peter, James, and John—the so-called “inner circle”—this relationship was not meant to be a prescriptive model for discipleship today. Jesus’ time with these three disciples was unique and likely tied to their specific preparation for the office of apostleship, a role that no longer exists in the modern church.
Throughout the Gospels, we see Jesus often pulling Peter, James, and John aside for special moments, such as witnessing His transfiguration (Matthew 17:1-9) or accompanying Him in the Garden of Gethsemane (Matthew 26:36-38). This closer relationship served a specific purpose: preparing them for their unique role in the early church. They were to be eyewitnesses to critical events in Jesus’ ministry, providing a foundational testimony for the church’s future.
However, the office of apostleship, with its specific role of being eyewitnesses to Jesus’ ministry and resurrection, is no longer active. The twelve apostles, including the inner three, were chosen for this specific purpose, and the way Jesus discipled them was tailored to the unique mission He had for them. Therefore, we should be cautious about using Jesus’ inner circle as a standard discipleship model for today’s context, as it was not prescriptive.
John and Generational Discipleship: A Model for Legacy
One of the most significant examples of one-on-one discipleship in early church history is the Apostle John. John not only walked closely with Jesus but also passed down his teachings through deep, personal discipleship relationships that extended across multiple generations. He was also one of the “inner circle” but did not model the micro group model.
John’s discipleship began with Polycarp, who was a direct disciple of John. Polycarp not only absorbed John’s teachings but also witnessed the spiritual life of someone who had walked with Jesus Himself. Polycarp later went on to disciple Irenaeus, who became one of the most influential theologians of the early church. Through this chain of personal mentorship, John’s influence spanned two generations, preserving the teachings of Christ through personal, one-on-one discipleship.
Why One-on-One Discipleship Is Different
In a culture where large groups and digital resources are often the go-to, one-on-one discipleship stands out for its unique ability to foster personal growth and deep connection. Here’s why it’s still essential:
- Deep Personal Growth. One-on-one discipleship allows for a level of vulnerability and personal connection that group settings often can’t offer. It’s easy to blend in and remain surface-level when we’re in a group. In a one-on-one relationship, there’s a more significant opportunity for accountability, personalized guidance, and spiritual growth. The discipler can address specific struggles, challenges, and questions that might not arise in a group setting.
- Tailored Spiritual Mentorship. Every believer is at a different place in their spiritual journey. One-on-one discipleship allows the mentor to tailor guidance to the disciple’s specific needs, challenges, and goals. This customized mentorship helps the disciple grow in areas they need most, whether it’s learning how to study Scripture, developing a more robust prayer life, or finding healing from past wounds.
- Accountability and Encouragement. Accountability is essential to spiritual growth. In a one-on-one relationship, there’s a greater level of honesty and transparency. The discipler can walk closely with the disciple, holding them accountable for their spiritual commitments while also offering personalized encouragement through difficult seasons. This close connection gives the disciple the support they need to stay on track and continue growing in their faith.
- Focused Attention and Prayer. In a small group, attention is divided among several people, and it can be hard to go deep with one person’s spiritual journey. One-on-one discipleship allows for focused attention, where the discipler can pray specifically for the needs and growth of the disciple. This concentrated attention fosters a deeper connection and helps create a stronger bond between the mentor and mentee.
- Multiplication of Disciples. One of the primary goals of discipleship is to create more disciples. In a one-on-one setting, the discipler is investing deeply in one person with the intention that this disciple will go on to disciple others. This model of multiplication is powerful because it’s personal. Each person who is discipled is equipped to go out and disciple someone else, creating a ripple effect of spiritual growth and transformation.
How One-on-One Discipleship Can Be Practiced Today
Finding time for one-on-one discipleship can seem challenging in today’s fast-paced, busy world. However, it’s not impossible. Here are some practical ways you can engage in one-on-one discipleship:
- Prioritize Time. Both the discipler and disciple must commit to making time for the relationship. Whether it’s a weekly coffee meeting, a phone call, or even a video chat, setting aside consistent time is crucial in fostering the relationship and growing together.
- Be Intentional One-on-one discipleship is about more than just casual conversation. Be intentional about discussing spiritual growth, studying Scripture together, and praying for one another. It’s a purposeful relationship with the goal of spiritual transformation.
- Be Vulnerable. One-on-one discipleship thrives on vulnerability. The discipler and the disciple should be open and honest about their struggles, doubts, and growth areas. Vulnerability creates a space where both can grow in their faith and rely on one another for accountability and encouragement.
- Lead and Learn. If you’re discipling someone, don’t forget that discipleship is a two-way street. While you’re mentoring someone else, you will also learn and grow through the process. Be humble and willing to learn from your disciple, recognizing that God works in both directions.
Conclusion: The Power of One-on-One Discipleship
One-on-one discipleship may seem old-fashioned in today’s fast-paced, group-focused church culture. Still, it remains one of the most effective ways to foster profound spiritual growth, accountability, and multiplication. From the earliest examples of Moses mentoring Joshua to the generational impact of John’s discipleship of Polycarp and Irenaeus, we have centuries of evidence that one-on-one discipleship produces lasting spiritual fruit.
This personal mentorship method spans biblical and early church history, with examples extending well beyond the apostolic age. The impact of these intentional, personal relationships has shaped not only individuals but entire generations of the faith. Investing in one-on-one discipleship has proven to be a powerful way to transmit sound doctrine, nurture spiritual growth, and foster leadership that continues to multiply through the ages.
As we look to the future, we can trust that the timeless model of one-on-one discipleship—rooted in Scripture and reinforced by centuries of church history—still holds the key to deep, transformative relationships that lead to spiritual maturity.
Who are you walking alongside in your spiritual journey today? And how can you deepen your commitment to one-on-one discipleship, continuing this ancient yet enduring practice?
What’s in This Series?
Thank you for joining us in our six-part series on discipleship! We’ll continue to explore different aspects of what it means to follow Jesus and live as His disciple. Here is what is in this series:
What Does It Mean to Be a Disciple of Christ? Part 1 addresses the question we need to ask ourselves is: Are we just attending church, or are we actively being transformed as followers of Jesus?
Disciple or Follower: Is There a Difference? In Part 2, we’ll dive deeper into the distinctions between being a follower of Jesus and a true disciple. What does it mean to fully commit to Christ’s teachings, and how can we move from passive belief to active transformation?
Biblical Models of Discipleship: Lessons from the Old and New Testament. In Part 3, we’ll look at how discipleship has been modeled throughout the Bible, from Moses and Joshua to Paul and Timothy, and what we can learn from their relationships today.
The Role of the Discipler and Mentee: Why Relationships Matter in Discipleship Relationships are central to spiritual growth. In Part 4, we’ll explore the vital role that mentor-mentee relationships play in the process of discipleship.
Why One-on-One Discipleship Still Matters Today. As churches grow larger and small groups become more common, is one-on-one discipleship still relevant? In Part 5, we’ll make the case for returning to this biblical model for deeper spiritual growth.
Measuring Discipleship: How Do We Know We’re Making Progress? Finally, in Part 6, we’ll discuss how to measure the effectiveness of discipleship—both in our own lives and in the lives of those we disciple. What are the true indicators of spiritual growth?
Stay tuned as we continue this journey of rediscovering what it means to live as faithful disciples of Christ!
